Parental attitudes and the attitudes of adults (coach, teacher, etc.) are significant to the preteen, tween, or teen are positive predictors of the child’s comfortable attitudes about premarital sex. The adults’ attitudes about adolescent sexual intercourse and father-child communication have been shown to be extremely important factors. Adult discussion of sexual values is a significant predictor of teen sexual attitudes and behaviors.

Whether you discuss sexuality directly or not with your child, your values, unspoken attitudes, gawking and talking all have impact. For example, your self-esteem and your emphasis on the self-esteem of the child is positively related to deliberate delayed onset of sexual experimentation and to satisfaction with their decision when they do deliberately choose to become sexually active. On the other hand sexual behavior that contradicted personal values and the values of significant adults is associated with lower self-esteem and emotional distress. We adults do play a significant role in kids’ sexual attitude development and future behavior.

Recently YM magazine discovered tween and teen reasons for waiting to have sex. After the old standby’s of fear of pregnancy and of catching a dread disease, the kids mentioned anxiety about their reputation with peers and adults and a desire to avoid trouble with parents. Kids are concerned about what parents and significant adults think and don’t generally want to deliberately displease them.

One of the most comprehensive studies of teens found that the more parents and other adults talk to kids about sex and its consequences, the less likely they are to engage in it prematurely and casually.

Study after study has shown that it is ignorance, not knowledge, about sex that creates problems. Kids crave information about relationships, becoming sexually active, and avoiding pregnancy and STD’s. The basic birds and bees is not enough.

A recent survey by Roper Starch for SIECUS shows that more than half the teens who are sexually active wish they had waited longer to start. At the same time, it is proven that kids whose parents and significant adults talk to them about sex are less likely to have sex early.